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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Tak dapat rezeki itu, tak bermakna tak boleh dapat rezeki yang lebih besar


Ouchh... ni tajuk post yang paling panjang kot...
Rupenye dah lame tak update.. last was on june

Actually dah lame rase nak update... tapi skarang barulah ade mase sket... and yang penting, lebih cool KOT... yup, TIME DOES HEAL SOME WOUNDS, Insya-Allah...
As i recall, seme entries sal benda yang happy je... sekali je pernah cam tak happy sket... sal ####...

Tak perlu saye menceritakan dengan begitu mendalam, tp conclusion nye... sgt drop... tapi masih syukur coz still cam okay....kot... as a teacher, or mane2 cikgu pon... keutamaan mestilah bila anak-anak murid dapat manfaat daripada pengajaran kita... walaupun tak secara academic... secara rohani n so on pon...

But, as a student... kite pon ade aim lain... setiap orang pon ade... banyak might be...
Susah nak explain perasaan nih, bercampur baur... It's truly hurting me... physically and socially, perhaps I seem normal... but inside.. Allah s.w.t knows better... frankly, I'm morally down and lack of confidence...

It's more than words can say... secara logic nye... memang tak da rezeki... nak nangis... entahla.... In 5 years, ni kot the biggest smash I ever experienced... tapi, da dewase nih... matang la sikit... takkan nak terlalu expose kan... walaupun hati ni menderite... remuk!!!

Rasa cam tak nak attend convo pon ade... so far, saye tak nampak lagi ape hikmah disebalik semue ni... or maybe my heart is blind...

Ade my childhood bestie tanye... ape base awk sedih sangat? (they already knew the facts)..
then i said... After my agama, my family (my kucing are my family too), I only do have my education... i have no bf, no hubby n of course la childless... students pon... not around... in distance and heart... sorry~~~ Besides my family and education, friends and students, I've no other happiness... something or somebody to share the probs ke... tak kan asyik2 nak cerite kat orang yang same

I've no idea how to express my heart... everything cam topsy-turvy... I xtahu sape the individu untuk cerita and luahkan... don't know... really n truthfully... susah nak jumpe orang yang bile i crite... dapat feel yang die faham... And I can't stop thinking about something that effect me harshly haish...

Laughter might be the best medicine... In this case I think arrr...
This is what i nak maksudkan with Tak dapat rezeki itu, tak bermakna tak boleh dapat rezeki yang lebih besar

Nak pergi sane as fast as i can... discover ilmu and pengalaman banyak2... madam rose once said during class before exam dulu... once upon a time lah kirenye...
"Shiha and Diyana are better than certain QUT students who are going to Aussie... bla bla bla" bukan nak berbangge... sebagai dorongan and motivasi diri sendiri... moge2 dimakbulkan Allah s.w.t... disokong keluarga... love...
Tp before tu, nak wat elok2 utk last sem nih n banyak ni plans nak wat time dah teaching nanti... Sabah??? ku sentiase berdoa, moge diperkenankan :)
p/s: suke dengar ucaptama Prof. tadi.. walaupun sukar difahami... tapi bermakna

Back to the topic... (Mengeluh panjang...sigh...........) Actually lately, banyak quotes or daily words which orang2 disekeliling utter yang berkaitan dengan my prob... terubat la jugak... tapi perlukan masa...

Susah nak cakap, moge ditenangkan hati ini...Amin

Anybody here? pliz say something...

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